The cost of caring…
Posted on July 4, 2015 Leave a Comment
I write this and think that maybe a lot of people will say, “maybe it is time for full time care.” It’s not. Trust me.
Posted on July 3, 2015 Leave a Comment
We danced on the driveway, a familiar dance of love and hate.
We miss you
Posted on June 25, 2015 1 Comment
And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For the existed.”
Posted on June 15, 2015 1 Comment
Caring for my Mama, for my Martha is not easy. It is also not the hardest thing either. If you resist it, it’ll be cruel to you, if you let it in, it’ll be magic!!
Letters to my Mama… part 1
Posted on June 11, 2015 1 Comment
Firstly I wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you so much it often brings tears to my eyes just thinking about you.
Posted on February 1, 2015 1 Comment
Dear Mama, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all that I have done to cause you grief. I’m sorry that I sometimes hate you. I’m sorry that sometimes I yell at you. I’m sorry for the thoughts I think. I’m sorry that you are no longer the mother I need. I miss you, Mama. I’m sorry […]
Tonight I showered you
Posted on January 23, 2015 1 Comment
Tonight you needed to shower. Your nurse hadn’t come this morning and you needed to shower. I got you undressed and left you to shower on your own. Usually you can and it is fine, a few minutes later you were back in your room getting dressed. I told you to stop, I could of […]
Fear of the unknown
Posted on January 22, 2015 3 Comments
So I have done a bit of writing over the past few days and have published it to the blog, but not posted it up on Facebook. Fear is what is holding me back. Fear of judgement. What I don’t want is for you to think that it is like this all the time or […]
Planning and preparation
Posted on January 10, 2015 Leave a Comment
2015 is here, I feel relieved, the end of the year dragged and depression was starting to eat at my soul. I have survived. With the start of a new year comes new beginnings, I have started to plan. Meals, exercise, work, holidays, goals. It all goes into a massive pile and I start to […]
I am not alone, but I am lonely…
Posted on January 2, 2015 Leave a Comment
I am desperate to be alone. To be undisturbed by the world. To sit alone and breathe without interference from the outside. The desperation is physical, aching heart, sweaty palms, teary eyes, I want to be alone. The most time I spend truly alone is the time I spend in my car driving to and […]