The kindness of caring
Being a carer takes a lot of patience and kindness. I, like many other full time carers seemingly do not have a choice. I never volunteered for this position of full time carer, it never even entered my mind when Mum was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers. In the early days following the death of my Father we looked at various homes and care facilities for Mum to stay in. I selfishly (or not so) wanted to return as quickly as possible to my old life. To my home, my job, my friends. I did not want to be burdened with the responsibility of carer. As the days turned to weeks, and weeks to months it became more and more obvious that I would be caring for Mum permanently.
So after about three months of backwards and forwards, ups and downs we began our journey together. First moving to Christchurch and later relocating to Auckland. It was tough and long and hard, like many things that I seem to do as of late but in the end we have ended up in a pretty good place (now). As many of my readers will know we have had our fair share of struggles. I have suffered through some deep depressions, some amazing adventures and been in limbo for the past two years. I am constantly reminded of how cruel this world is and often reminded of the kindness of others.
This week as we had various carers come in and out of our lives I was reminded once again of how much kindness it takes to be a carer. To step outside of your own family and care as your job. What a wonderful service you can offer to the world, yourself. As Martha’s personal carer politely knocked on the door on Thursday I began our morning ritual. Up, breakfast, showers, make the beds, out. Martha’s carer gathered her things and helped her out of bed and into the shower. She washed, dried and dressed Martha, she made her bed while Martha sat on the couch in the lounge and then as if she was caring for her own Mother, this woman, who I do not even know by name sat with Martha, she held her hand and asked if she could do anything else for her. Martha politely declined anything else, this woman who was so gracious and polite kissed Martha on the forehead and said “goodbye dear, have a blessed day.” In that one and simple exchange of kindness I was moved by this woman; by her love for Martha even though this was the first time she had met us. Her kindness was palpable. We have many lovely people in our lives but our nurses and carers are some of the kindest most wonderful human beings I have the pleasure of having in my life. To all of those who are carers; many blessings to you.
Remember to be kind x