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Letters to my Mama… part 4

Dear Mama, This morning your delusions had the best of you, when I came in to say Hi you were so sad. I sat with you and asked you what was wrong, with your beautiful eyes looking up at me, you whispered ‘I think I have to go away.’  I reassured you that you were […]

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Today I learnt..

I listened today and I learnt about truth for the first time in my 30 years. Isn’t that a funny notion to finally learn the meaning of truth at 30?

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The kindness of caring

As the days turned to weeks, and weeks to months it became more and more obvious that I would be caring for Mum permanently.

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Letting go

Caring for my Mama, for my Martha is not easy. It is also not the hardest thing either. If you resist it, it’ll be cruel to you, if you let it in, it’ll be magic!!

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Letters to my Mama… part 1

Firstly I wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you so much it often brings tears to my eyes just thinking about you.

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Grateful

One year ago I made my first post. I had been contemplating starting a blog and then I did. In that year since, I have posted 32 blogs, made a bunch of new friends and lived several lives all in just a short 52 weeks. I have dragged Martha over the countryside, across seas and […]

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Tonight I showered you

Tonight you needed to shower. Your nurse hadn’t come this morning and you needed to shower. I got you undressed and left you to shower on your own. Usually you can and it is fine, a few minutes later you were back in your room getting dressed. I told you to stop, I could of […]

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My Martha Tips (because I really do love a good list…)

I have spent the past few weeks in particular getting to know what makes Martha crazy. What brings on the hallucinations/delusions, what upsets and what calms her.. For each individual sufferer of alzheimers it will be different, they will have their own triggers.  Martha and I usually get a break when Martha heads off to […]

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Losing yourself

I sat in the car and watched Mum push the trolley to its bay, she turned and started to walk back towards me. She turned without hesitation and I watched her closely.  It was about twenty steps and she had taken at least ten.  A car was pulling out and she stopped, if she hadn’t […]

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When does the feeling sad part stop?

The past few days I have been reminded of grief. In many ways, shapes and forms. My own grief and the hole it has carved in my heart and of others grief. Today I wished collectively we did not experience grief, loss or sadness. That it wasn’t heart breaking and hard.  Today I wished that grief […]

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