Today I learnt..
I sat at a table today surrounded by greatness, I felt child-like and small, surrounded by lives that have been lived for more than 60 years. I sat and listened as stories and memories were shared like currency and I was envious. I was envious because I want this but I must be patient; my time will come when I too sit at a table of old souls and share my memories and lessons of life.
I sat and listened as your lay your life in front of me, I was silenced by your words, not because I was scared, hurt or sad but because the force in which power emanated from you was so powerful it left me speechless. Today I learnt many lessons from you, I listened, I absorbed. I wasn’t silent because I had nothing to say, I was silent because I was eager to learn.
I listened today and I learnt about truth for the first time in my 30 years. Isn’t that a funny notion to finally learn the meaning of truth at 30? Today you taught me that there are two different truths to live by, one is the absolute unwavering truth. The actual events past/present/future that cannot and will not change no matter what you do. The other is the truth that sets you free. Today as I drove home I ruminated over the truth that sets you free. The truth that has the power to change your own world by believing in it. The truth that positivity exists, that negativity is harmful, that too much sugar is bad for you and that death is eminent, but the biggest truth I learnt; the truth that enabled me to walk away with a smile was the truth of true gratitude for life. Today I will not take another day of my life for granted. Days will be hard but I already know that, today you gave me the gift that my life is valuable.
I listened to you and watched you today, the words and wisdom you wanted to impart on your granddaughter, I watched her and wondered if she knew the gift that she was being given in this moment, I wanted to whisper in her ear, take the lesson now, take it now and blossom with it because it won’t be until you are my age that you will know it’s true value.
I sat and listened with open heart and open mind today. I felt honored that you shared your final journey with me, even though this was not the last time we will meet, it was with such pride that you shared with me how your body would leave this earth and whilst I was struck by a profound amount of sadness I was filled with love, that you as a woman I knew only as a child was speaking to me now as an adult and sharing with me the most intimate of details. I watched as you described your final moments on this earth, I prayed silently that they would not be soon but as you explained everything to me, the love of your life oozed from your body. You spoke so fondly of yourself, so kindly, so highly. We were speaking of death and yet I was envious. I am envious that you know how much you are loved.
I, as a woman of nearly 30 am still learning, I am still in my infancy of emotional maturity, but today as I listened, you spoke to me, I listened as a woman to another woman who is the greatest inspiration of my life. I listened with a type of lust for life as you shared with me your lessons, maybe you shared them on purpose but I think perhaps they were always there I just wasn’t listening properly.
Today I learnt lessons from you that I was not expecting to learn.
Today I learnt the meaning of truth, pride and love.
Today I learnt to listen.
Thank you.
K x
Me, Martha and Alzheimer's 