Archives

Today I learnt..

I listened today and I learnt about truth for the first time in my 30 years. Isn’t that a funny notion to finally learn the meaning of truth at 30?

Read More

Letters to my Mama… Part 2

As hard as it is, sometimes it is harder to be away from you. I miss your connection to me I miss you knowing me when you are with me and that is hard, but when you aren’t with me I just miss you and I don’t know which is harder.

Read More

Letting go

Caring for my Mama, for my Martha is not easy. It is also not the hardest thing either. If you resist it, it’ll be cruel to you, if you let it in, it’ll be magic!!

Read More

Tonight I showered you

Tonight you needed to shower. Your nurse hadn’t come this morning and you needed to shower. I got you undressed and left you to shower on your own. Usually you can and it is fine, a few minutes later you were back in your room getting dressed. I told you to stop, I could of […]

Read More

My Martha Tips (because I really do love a good list…)

I have spent the past few weeks in particular getting to know what makes Martha crazy. What brings on the hallucinations/delusions, what upsets and what calms her.. For each individual sufferer of alzheimers it will be different, they will have their own triggers.  Martha and I usually get a break when Martha heads off to […]

Read More

Losing yourself

I sat in the car and watched Mum push the trolley to its bay, she turned and started to walk back towards me. She turned without hesitation and I watched her closely.  It was about twenty steps and she had taken at least ten.  A car was pulling out and she stopped, if she hadn’t […]

Read More

When does the feeling sad part stop?

The past few days I have been reminded of grief. In many ways, shapes and forms. My own grief and the hole it has carved in my heart and of others grief. Today I wished collectively we did not experience grief, loss or sadness. That it wasn’t heart breaking and hard.  Today I wished that grief […]

Read More

The merge…

We just moved in with friends. Good friends. Great friends. Angels on this earth; and I feel like I am suffocating.  I pray, I hope that this will pass quickly. It’s an interesting thing merging lives together, I was content when I lived in Christchurch, a familiar supportive crew that did their own thing, supported […]

Read More