Archives

Letters to my Mama… part 5

“what must it be like to have nothing? not even memories to visit in the night”

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Am I your daughter?

And if she does not remember me, please do not be offended if she does not remember you.

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The Grief journey..

There is the all too familiar saying “time heals everything..” is it true? Maybe, I don’t think so. I don’t think you ever heal. You learn to cope better, manage every day life better, you learn to smile again and re-emerge as the person everyone once you knew you as.

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When it hurts, it hurts

I am hurting. The pain is radiating from my heart and spreading down to the tips of my fingers and toes. It feels as if my hair aches and my finger nails are digging into me. This pain and grief feels familiar, common but also unfamiliar. I have not bathed in grief for a long […]

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A few helpful tips..

This time of year is a hard time for families caring for someone with alzheimers/dementia.  Services shut down or go to a skeleton staff, family and friends go away for the holiday season, it is hot, tiring and the days are long. Carers are often exhausted and will look that way. I know this from […]

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Today I learnt..

I listened today and I learnt about truth for the first time in my 30 years. Isn’t that a funny notion to finally learn the meaning of truth at 30?

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We miss you

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For the existed.”

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The Beast and its Beauty

Today I chased the sun and it led me here. It was magnificent. I sat on a rock that looked as if it had been purposely placed for this precise thing. To watch with great awe as the sun disappeared behind the mountains. It was cold and I felt chilled but I couldn’t look away, […]

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Grateful

One year ago I made my first post. I had been contemplating starting a blog and then I did. In that year since, I have posted 32 blogs, made a bunch of new friends and lived several lives all in just a short 52 weeks. I have dragged Martha over the countryside, across seas and […]

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Tonight I showered you

Tonight you needed to shower. Your nurse hadn’t come this morning and you needed to shower. I got you undressed and left you to shower on your own. Usually you can and it is fine, a few minutes later you were back in your room getting dressed. I told you to stop, I could of […]

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