author | Me, Martha and Alzheimer's

A birthday burden

Posted on November 26, 2020 Leave a Comment

(Images: My 30th birthday cupcake, Me & Martha 1985, Mum + Dad, My birthday 2015) I have a strange relationship with my birthday, I think lots of people do. Society at large places a lot of expectation on birthdays, the cards, the wrapping paper, the cake, really it is a lot (go checkout @jtfirstman “this […]

What will we lose?

Posted on March 31, 2020 Leave a Comment

I’ve become somewhat accustomed to loss, as humans I think we often tend to push our losses to the side and not deal with them, but as a caregiver I am constantly dealing with loss. It started with the loss of my Dad in 2013, and since then it has ranged between a drop of […]

Hine

Posted on March 28, 2020 3 Comments

One day you will become the embodiment of atua wāhine.It will be in the surrender that she makes her home in you.One day she will arrive and settle in your soul,early on you will go to war with her;How dare she come into your house!Most days you will not even know she calls you home.She […]

Am I your daughter?

Posted on March 30, 2016 2 Comments

And if she does not remember me, please do not be offended if she does not remember you.

When it hurts, it hurts

Posted on February 15, 2016 Leave a Comment

I am hurting. The pain is radiating from my heart and spreading down to the tips of my fingers and toes. It feels as if my hair aches and my finger nails are digging into me. This pain and grief feels familiar, common but also unfamiliar. I have not bathed in grief for a long […]

Letters to my Mama… part 4

Posted on January 5, 2016 Leave a Comment

Dear Mama, This morning your delusions had the best of you, when I came in to say Hi you were so sad. I sat with you and asked you what was wrong, with your beautiful eyes looking up at me, you whispered ‘I think I have to go away.’ I reassured you that you were […]

A few helpful tips..

Posted on December 15, 2015 1 Comment

This time of year is a hard time for families caring for someone with alzheimers/dementia. Services shut down or go to a skeleton staff, family and friends go away for the holiday season, it is hot, tiring and the days are long. Carers are often exhausted and will look that way. I know this from […]

Letters to my Mama… Part 2

Posted on September 16, 2015 2 Comments

As hard as it is, sometimes it is harder to be away from you. I miss your connection to me I miss you knowing me when you are with me and that is hard, but when you aren’t with me I just miss you and I don’t know which is harder.