Archives

We miss you

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For the existed.”

Advertisements

Read More

Letting go

Caring for my Mama, for my Martha is not easy. It is also not the hardest thing either. If you resist it, it’ll be cruel to you, if you let it in, it’ll be magic!!

Read More

Letters to my Mama… part 1

Firstly I wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you so much it often brings tears to my eyes just thinking about you.

Read More

The Beast and its Beauty

Today I chased the sun and it led me here. It was magnificent. I sat on a rock that looked as if it had been purposely placed for this precise thing. To watch with great awe as the sun disappeared behind the mountains. It was cold and I felt chilled but I couldn’t look away, […]

Read More

Grateful

One year ago I made my first post. I had been contemplating starting a blog and then I did. In that year since, I have posted 32 blogs, made a bunch of new friends and lived several lives all in just a short 52 weeks. I have dragged Martha over the countryside, across seas and […]

Read More

Tonight I showered you

Tonight you needed to shower. Your nurse hadn’t come this morning and you needed to shower. I got you undressed and left you to shower on your own. Usually you can and it is fine, a few minutes later you were back in your room getting dressed. I told you to stop, I could of […]

Read More

Fear of the unknown

So I have done a bit of writing over the past few days and have published it to the blog, but not posted it up on Facebook. Fear is what is holding me back. Fear of judgement. What I don’t want is for you to think that it is like this all the time or […]

Read More

My Martha Tips (because I really do love a good list…)

I have spent the past few weeks in particular getting to know what makes Martha crazy. What brings on the hallucinations/delusions, what upsets and what calms her.. For each individual sufferer of alzheimers it will be different, they will have their own triggers.  Martha and I usually get a break when Martha heads off to […]

Read More

Losing yourself

I sat in the car and watched Mum push the trolley to its bay, she turned and started to walk back towards me. She turned without hesitation and I watched her closely.  It was about twenty steps and she had taken at least ten.  A car was pulling out and she stopped, if she hadn’t […]

Read More

When does the feeling sad part stop?

The past few days I have been reminded of grief. In many ways, shapes and forms. My own grief and the hole it has carved in my heart and of others grief. Today I wished collectively we did not experience grief, loss or sadness. That it wasn’t heart breaking and hard.  Today I wished that grief […]

Read More