Blessings in everything
Six months ago the thought of calling alzheimers a blessing would of filled me with rage. How dare those words tumble from someones mouth so ostensibly! Alzheimers is not, in any way a blessing.. and yet I uttered those exact words a few weeks ago to someone I didn’t know, she looked at me with pity in her eyes..
“But, you’re so young to be a caregiver..”
I replied, “blessings in everything..”
“Well” she said, “that isn’t true. It isn’t a blessing, really?”
I thought about it for half a second, and then politely disagreed with her. It is true, there is a blessing here.
The blessing is that I truly understand what Love is, I have been witness to the purest form of Love, Love that has no boundaries, no fears, no judgements and it has changed my life fundamentally.
I remember watching Martha, she spotted a man at least 20 metres from her, I instantly knew she was going to hug him. She charged ahead and before I knew it, she had enveloped him in her Martha way. As I caught up, he was in tears, they were uncontrollable as Martha kissed his cheeks and held him. I knew then, from that moment that I was truly in the presence of Love. She stood with this man, communicating with him only in her energy, communicating with him by her embrace that she Loved him. It is truly something to see what unconditional Love looks like, it isn’t for everyone, it can also be really scary for some. I think as we move through the world we become a little more weary, Love comes with lots of different conditions. I have seen people be skeptical of Martha, stand back from her, her energy only ever so slightly touching the surface of theirs. I have seen others fall into her Love, absorb it as quickly and as much as possible. I have countless stories of how beautiful Martha’s love has been, how healing it has been. I have seen her embrace people as if she has known them for years, having only spotted them as she walked by.
It is an odd thing to say, we are better off with alzheimers. I would never wish alzheimers on anyone, but the lessons I have learnt have been incredible, the connection I have now with Martha is the most intense it has been in my memory, perhaps what a new Mother experiences with the release of hormones as she holds her baby for the first time, realising that she didn’t know she could love someone so much. This is how I feel now, as if I have been given the greatest gift. I have been given my Mother, to Mother.
Don’t get my wrong, of course it saddens me that she has alzheimers, alzheimers is cruel and unrelenting, but it also surprises you, teaches you, pushes you to places you never thought you would go. It will consume you to the darkest depths, but it can also send you to places you never knew existed. I have felt the super power of Love, a place I did not know existed until now.
When I say blessings in everything, I truly mean that. Alzheimers is not a blessing, but it has been.
We love you dearly too Martha. I hope you have had a fabulous weekend. Beautifully written Kyrin.