Maori Category

Absence

Ninety percent of what I say at the moment are simple commands; “eat your food”“drink your water”“come on”“sit down”“stand up” On a good day it is peppered with “please”, “thank you”, and “you’re such a good girl”, on a bad day they are short and sharp, they hold any manner of things, anger, rage, frustration, […]

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What will we lose?

I’ve become somewhat accustomed to loss, as humans I think we often tend to push our losses to the side and not deal with them, but as a caregiver I am constantly dealing with loss. It started with the loss of my Dad in 2013, and since then it has ranged between a drop of […]

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Blessings in everything

Six months ago the thought of calling alzheimers a blessing would of filled me with rage. How dare those words tumble from someones mouth so ostensibly! Alzheimers is not, in any way a blessing.. and yet I uttered those exact words a few weeks ago to someone I didn’t know, she looked at me with […]

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When the Universe speaks, you listen

I experienced my first ‘real life’ connection to the Universe a few years ago, I still remember it as if it was yesterday and can still bring about those feelings when I think back to the time. It was insane. It still makes me get shivers and it lead me down a path of no […]

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2017 won’t be great..

I do have a choice, and that choice is to walk with her till the end regardless of how hard it will be.

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Friday nights

Disclaimer: This is an honest real account of what my life is like caring for a person with Alzheimer’s, and whilst I appreciate your concern please avoid giving me advice on what you think I ‘should‘ be doing. I have regular respite, I have regular counselling and have a great support network.  Also, I swear […]

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Alone

I’ve been going through some stuff, some psychological challenges, physical challenges, realisations and realities and have allowed life to get on top.  It isn’t all bad, I have recently launched a new charity, a new business with a friend, and a new business importing crystals to NZ.  I am at uni studying counseling and feeling […]

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When it hurts, it hurts

I am hurting. The pain is radiating from my heart and spreading down to the tips of my fingers and toes. It feels as if my hair aches and my finger nails are digging into me. This pain and grief feels familiar, common but also unfamiliar. I have not bathed in grief for a long […]

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We miss you

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For the existed.”

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Letting go

Caring for my Mama, for my Martha is not easy. It is also not the hardest thing either. If you resist it, it’ll be cruel to you, if you let it in, it’ll be magic!!

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