As hard as it is, sometimes it is harder to be away from you. I miss your connection to me I miss you knowing me when you are with me and that is hard, but when you aren’t with me I just miss you and I don’t know which is harder.
And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For the existed.”
One year ago I made my first post. I had been contemplating starting a blog and then I did. In that year since, I have posted 32 blogs, made a bunch of new friends and lived several lives all in just a short 52 weeks. I have dragged Martha over the countryside, across seas and […]
Tonight you needed to shower. Your nurse hadn’t come this morning and you needed to shower. I got you undressed and left you to shower on your own. Usually you can and it is fine, a few minutes later you were back in your room getting dressed. I told you to stop, I could of […]
I have spent the past few weeks in particular getting to know what makes Martha crazy. What brings on the hallucinations/delusions, what upsets and what calms her.. For each individual sufferer of alzheimers it will be different, they will have their own triggers. Martha and I usually get a break when Martha heads off to […]
I sat in the car and watched Mum push the trolley to its bay, she turned and started to walk back towards me. She turned without hesitation and I watched her closely. It was about twenty steps and she had taken at least ten. A car was pulling out and she stopped, if she hadn’t […]
The past few days I have been reminded of grief. In many ways, shapes and forms. My own grief and the hole it has carved in my heart and of others grief. Today I wished collectively we did not experience grief, loss or sadness. That it wasn’t heart breaking and hard. Today I wished that grief […]
We just moved in with friends. Good friends. Great friends. Angels on this earth; and I feel like I am suffocating. I pray, I hope that this will pass quickly. It’s an interesting thing merging lives together, I was content when I lived in Christchurch, a familiar supportive crew that did their own thing, supported […]
I have to believe that for every dark night, there is a brighter day… Following moments of happiness last night we delved into moments of true sadness and desperation this morning. Martha has spent the last twelve hours angry, agitated, frustrated.. Telling me how much of a stupid fucking bitch I am. One of the […]