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From my healing heart x

But most importantly for you, I want you to know.. there are so many other things you should be offended or disgusted by, my survival of alzheimers is not one.

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Am I your daughter?

And if she does not remember me, please do not be offended if she does not remember you.

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The Grief journey..

There is the all too familiar saying “time heals everything..” is it true? Maybe, I don’t think so. I don’t think you ever heal. You learn to cope better, manage every day life better, you learn to smile again and re-emerge as the person everyone once you knew you as.

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When it hurts, it hurts

I am hurting. The pain is radiating from my heart and spreading down to the tips of my fingers and toes. It feels as if my hair aches and my finger nails are digging into me. This pain and grief feels familiar, common but also unfamiliar. I have not bathed in grief for a long […]

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Lost

Tonight I cried, really cried; sad, sorrowful tears. I knew they were coming, I had preparing all week for this moment. This precise moment when everything would tumble from me and I would get lost in my loss. I cried for the loss of my Father. I cried for the loss of my Mother. And […]

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A life worth living..

Dear Katie Hopkins, It has been almost a year since you wrote this (and various other things about dementia); “Dementia sufferers should not be blocking beds.  What is the point of life when you no longer know you are living it? Bang me over the head.” I, fortunately, have only just stumbled across your careless […]

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Letters to my Mama… part 4

Dear Mama, This morning your delusions had the best of you, when I came in to say Hi you were so sad. I sat with you and asked you what was wrong, with your beautiful eyes looking up at me, you whispered ‘I think I have to go away.’  I reassured you that you were […]

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A few helpful tips..

This time of year is a hard time for families caring for someone with alzheimers/dementia.  Services shut down or go to a skeleton staff, family and friends go away for the holiday season, it is hot, tiring and the days are long. Carers are often exhausted and will look that way. I know this from […]

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Letters to my Mama.. part 3

I found this letter today I had written in January 2012 to Martha. Hi Mum, I miss you. I’ve been reading a book on Alzheimers and I am sad that you have to go through it. But I love you and I know when you forget me I’ll still love you and you’ll still love me. […]

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Ramblings of thankfulness

Over the past few days I have seen or been reminded of how fortunate I am, and most New Zealander’s, Australians, English.. Well just how fortunate the western world seems to be.  Here in New Zealand we are not experiencing war, serious drought, poverty that can’t be solved, no one I know in New Zealand […]

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