From my healing heart x

So this is the last thing I will say on this;

Wednesday morning I woke up and checked Facebook (the perils of a social media addiction), the previous day I had posted what I had thought was a funny picture of Kim Kardashians daughter North West, I wrote a caption “my face when someone is offended that martha doesn’t remember them.” It was followed by hashtags #wellduh #shehasalzheimers.  It made me chuckle, until Wednesday morning.

I don’t know who posted it, I don’t even recall word for word what it said.. but I still feel what it did to me. Because what it resonated in me was disappointment in myself, I felt lousy, I felt small and I felt useless.  Sitting on the edge of my bed reading these words was like a slow knife pushing through to my heart.  All of my insecurities unravelled in that moment.  Then and now; I know this was just the push on an already crappy few days/weeks. I was humiliated, who had read this? Is that what people think?  My over active brain started to spiral down.  My page, my sharing was never intended to offend anybody ever and now I have.  I cycled through emotions quickly, anger, frustration, sadness and then I had desperate longing to let that person know who wrote the comment that it is never in my nature to offend you with my posts. There is no PR team, it is just me, a struggling daughter losing my mother trying to make the best of the situation.  I am trying to use my page, my writing as a tool to heal and grow.  Studies show that carers in any capacity have a lower health standard and should find healthy outlets to explore emotions.  This is what I am doing.  This is a good example of how I am doing that, I am sharing, I am letting it out, because if I bottle it up. I lose it. I can’t do my job, I can’t care, and everyone loses.

So my message to that person and for any other person who might want to provide feedback; BE KIND. Do it with kindness, do it in a way that the person won’t feel humiliated or embarrassed.  Private message that page, carefully construct your sentences, ask yourself how you would feel when you read that message.  Would it make you feel empowered to read it, would it make you feel like praising that person in thanks..? Ask questions like what is that person going through? What am I going through? On a scale of how offensive is it, how should my reaction be? How does it offend me? Know your audience and act from your heart.  And if you did that, if you truly answered all those and felt good that your feedback would uplift, empower and help.. then Thank you, because perspective is everything and you are offering yours.

And for the person that specifically provided the feedback that so unceremoniously unravelled me.. I truly hope you don’t read this. I hope you removed yourself from my page.  But most importantly for you, I want you to know.. there are so many other things you should be offended or disgusted by, my survival of alzheimers is not one. 

From my healing heart,

K x

be-kind-always-blog-image

 

2 Comments on “From my healing heart x

  1. Kyrin, I love reading your posts, and I so get how writing and sharing helps you. I wish I could write as beautifully as you. Thank you again for coming to my darling’s celebration of life with your beautiful Mum, love you guys heaps xx

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